After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Randomize
