He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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