is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
