dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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