me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
and i looked up. we had an audience...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
