Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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