He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Randomize
