Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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