I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
