I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
