then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
