Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
