Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
