There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
