Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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