She's JV to your varsity
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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