I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
