Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
We named our party play list daddy issues
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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