These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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