at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
