The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
