i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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