is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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