I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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