A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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