And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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