i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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