If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
