Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
