ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
