Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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