who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
