She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
