So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
