I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
