YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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