You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
