I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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