I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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