if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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