I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
organizing the empties. That sober.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
the liver wants what the liver wants
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
