Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
