and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
