My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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