So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
