3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
