Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
