belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
