Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
