Duck Duck Cougar?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
